Sexual Harassment at work places; Women do not keep quiet. Speak up!

Vera’s story on sexual harassment shared last Friday reminds me of mine. I recently changed jobs, and I quite remember the question my then employer asked when I broke the news of my resignation. Apparently he had heard from somewhere that his P.A was being harassed, sexually, by a man also in the office.

 

‘Are you leaving because of Kofi (real name withheld)?” he asked. “I heard he’s been harassing you. Is it true?”

Well, no I wasn’t leaving because of Kofi; not necessarily. But Kofi wasn’t making my stay at the company easy either.

I remember also vividly the very day I took the job. I was seated next to the lady who was handing over to me. There were a few things she needed to take me through before she took her big step out of the company. 

As we sat behind the desk, this man that I later got to know as Kofi walked by. He went straight to the Augusta (also real name withheld), and while talking to her, helped himself to what was almost a scoop of her very fair breasts after which he looked at me and said bluntly “You’re next so get ready”.

I looked at him, and then at her; very much confused at this point. I didn’t take his words seriously. I’m sure I even laughed it off. It was later I realized that my non-show of disgust and disapproval for what he did to Augusta was interpreted by him as consent!

I was to suffer equal fate as Augusta. Maybe worse. 

Now I was used to his small talk of liking me, this and that, blah blah, but I never got used to him touching me. He would stand behind me, breathing down my neck, trying hard to peek through my shirt for a glance at my breasts. And then you would see me trying futilely to shake him off. No amount of ‘I don’t like what you’re doing’, ‘Stop that’, and ‘Kofi stop it, I don’t like this’ would make him stop. He would just laugh, and walk away with a devil’s grin.

One afternoon,   as I strutted across the long corridor back to my desk, he followed me, and was again finger touching. I kept shaking him off, but he wouldn’t listen. 

Now my office had this glass door one could see through from the inside, but not from the outside. And all along, our CFO who had come to speak to me, was standing there, eye witnessing the whole ‘event’. 

It was only when we got inside that we noticed his presence, and quickly adjusted. He stood there with a look of disdain of his face, delivered his message and left. 

It was this superior that informed my boss of the actions of Kofi, and he was quick to include that he had seen me several times trying to shake him off, but to no avail. He also told my boss that he had also seen him act improperly with other women in the office.

I did my best not to be the reason why Kofi would be dismissed from the organization. He was a good worker; very productive. But I couldn’t hide the truth from CFO. He was very observant, and had noticed what was going on even without me saying anything, and he had had it! 

I remember him (CFO) telling me that such cases called for immediate intervention from employers as no company should stand by and watch its employees being harassed. 

Over a year on, Kofi is still with the company. I have no idea what actions were taken because like Augusta, I also made my big move, and I did it with a very strong resolve. A resolve that I would speak up against things that I didn’t approve of! If I had shown my disgust at what he did to Augusta, maybe he would have known from the beginning that I wasn’t that ‘type’ of lady, and that I didn’t roll like that.

My advice to women out there? Do not keep quiet and swallow your discomfort when men like these harass you. Speak up! Let them know you’re not interested. Threaten them if need be, and they will back off. If they don’t, report them to your superiors at work. Most employers do not joke with the well-being of their employees, and there’s nothing, absolutely nothing to be scared of!

The author of this post wishes to remain anonymous, and sista respects her decision.