My life pretty much used to be a case of ‘speeding down the highway without your brains’ if I am not being too critical about who I was then. Just recently, a memory came to me that left me very sad, I couldn’t believe that was me. But it was. The memory was of me in the public washroom of a gas station, with 3 pregnancy test kits lined up on the dirty sink showing exactly what I was praying not to see. Could two give me a single bar at least? Six red bars stared back at me and I wanted to die right there in that smelly place. I felt miserable, my ever-overthinking mind started racing ahead, thinking of what exactly to do. The kind of vigilance a woman has when she suspects she might be pregnant is attached to some sort of pain when that suspected pregnancy is unplanned and unwanted. She monitors herself, noticing yet refusing to notice her changing body, inside-out. I remember weeks back, I stayed glued on the water closet for close to an hour after I’d noticed yet another
Empowerment over Judgment