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Women, Marriage, Child Birth and The Blackmailing Older Generation in Ghana

S ome years back, in my late teens, I always told myself I’d get married before I was 23. The thought of being able to enjoy life with my companion in holy matrimony without being pressed (physically, psychologically, or biologically) for children was ideal. I wanted to travel the world. Know people. See places. For my partner and I to get our act together before creating and bringing life into this world.   Maybe the motivation came from knowing my parents discovered each other and started life together quite early. My mother had me when she was barely 21. Three kids down the line, my dad is now in his late 40s, with my mom, a little behind. Definitely, the ‘young old couple’ thingy is attractive. But. I’m currently in my mid-20s. And unmarried. So many things replaced the desire for me to tie the knot before 23. I realized, somehow, that there was no rush. My priorities had shifted. There was education, a lot of growing up to do, and basically life! And there was also ...

Rape Is Not Just Sex. It Is a Crime of Power and You Don’t Tell Victims To ‘Just Get Over It.’

Photo Credit: Vox.com What most people do not understand is that rape is not something you just ‘get over’. No, it does not work that way. When the choice of consent is snatched from beneath you, it is a violation of not just your body but your mind too. Rape, is like a robbery in which something is taken forcefully from you with every unconsented thrust. Yet unlike robbery where items taken can be replaced, rape takes away parts of you that can never be replaced, only learned to live with. When a person is raped, it isn’t just the body that has been invaded but also the mind. And this unwarranted invasion can lead to a thrashing of a person’s mental health. Walls get broken and victims without the right help and counselling may never get around to becoming who they used to be. Their present comes to a standstill and the future turns to gloom. Some dire psychological effects of this violation may even be that victims may be broken to such abysmal levels that they acce...

Why must this be the first sentence uttered by men when you get pregnant?

“A woman can endure all; every pain, every hurt, every bruise, but not one that she causes herself.”   I have decided to share this not because I want to tell my story, but because I want to heal even though that seems like too much to ask right now. I am not in the position to make demands. It is my only hope that someday, maybe, I will be able to forgive myself and move past this. A woman never understands motherhood until she becomes one , or shall I rephrase; a woman never understands motherhood until she experiences what it takes and means to be a mother. It isn’t just about bringing a child into this world; it is about bringing yourself into this world. You are tied by the breath of life to the child you bring forth.  The joys of a mother are that; like the cactus plant she has faced death and triumphed with life and for as long as she lives she will never experience anything as encouraging and comforting as her child’s first clutch of her thumb. It...