Is success only measured by a woman's corporate achievements? Has a woman failed if she chooses family over her work?

Ambition. Success. These two words, despite their different definitions have assumed a mutually unexclusive meaning. One of these words cannot be said without the other following. From your days as a child, these two words are spoken in your ears and you are constantly reminded to be ambitious as it is the surest bet to becoming successful.

Men are expected to be ambitious and successful as it is part of what defines them. For women, ambition and success are something they are encouraged to fight for- and education is seen as their surest bet to achieving them. Women are told to be ‘twice as better’ to get to where and earn the privileges their male colleagues are handed.

Although, nobody is born with the traits of ambition and success, most are defined by society or the environment; this reminder, or pressure, means that, a woman who has been offered the same privileges as a man, must not disappoint. Her progress is scrutinized by society and her failure criticized –something her male colleagues get away with.


 

Despite the statistics pointing to the fact that, the percentage of women graduating from various tertiary institutions is increasing (43% according to National Council for Tertiary Education, 2014 data), the percentage of women heading big corporate organizations is still low. Those who make it to the top of the corporate leader are rightly celebrated and become a blueprint for other women to aspire to emulate.

However, the questions that have filled my thoughts are these:

a. Is success only measured by a woman’s corporate achievements?

b. Has a woman failed if she chooses family over her work?

Women find themselves in a very dicey situation where they have to balance their quest for professional success with family success. That is, while they seek for success in their field of endeavor, they are also to raise their family in the best way possible. One cannot be sacrificed for another. This situation has led to some women having to make a choice: choosing to forego raising a family and staying fully committed to work or choosing family over corporate success.

Those who have opted for the latter may be regarded as failure since there is ‘nothing substantial’ to measure her success. For example, take a woman who decides to quit her job to become a stay home mum, a fancy word for a housewife, and raise her kids whiles her husband works to feed the family. Twenty or so years on, when her kids are all grown with good careers, would her efforts and sacrifices be considered a success? 

My mum was a stay at home mum and I gleaned from her activities that she wanted a flexible schedule that would allow her to pursue other interests. She did some business from home which brought her money. 

Like my mum, there are women who want an easy schedule that balances well with their ambition to have a good family life. Sometimes, their strenuous corporate schedules make this impossible. Quitting is not an option for many since it smacks of failure so they stay in, work their hearts out, spend every day of the week, and sometimes weekends working.

In an Oct, 2015 article published in the Time Magazine, it was pointed out that most women are ambitious but they can’t ‘commit to a structure that was setup for 50% of the population’ (the 50% refers to men).

The article concluded that many women want careers that fit their lives and not the opposite. A career flexible enough that balances their professional careers and family engagements. It is based on this quest that, some women are being entrepreneurial ditching corporate life and establishing their own business to control their daily schedules.

In our current world where ambition serves as the fuel for success coupled with the out-of-office responsibilities of women, the question worth asking is, how do we measure the success rate of a woman? How does a woman stay ambitious and successful without compromising her family life? And has she failed if she chooses family over work or vice versa?

Article Submitted by Ibrahim (Rahim) Muniru. Find him on Twitter @swayekidd