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| Photo Courtesy: ghanacelebrities.com |
I will try and make this
as short a rant as possible. I am beginning to think Lydia Forson is one of the
most misunderstood women in Ghana, and I dare blame it on our patriarchal
system that finds everything wrong with a woman who speaks her mind and expresses
her thoughts without fear or intimidation.
I have just endured
minutes of people calling her out because of her comment
on Hamamat Montia’s dress at the recently ended 2016 VGMAs. Personally, what
Hamamat wore or didn’t wear to the Awards night is of little importance to
me.
Like Miss Forson, I want
to believe this very beautiful lady owns one of the greatest inventions of the
white man – a mirror – and as such, saw her prominent self, felt good about it
before she hammered her steps out of the house and on to the red carpet where
she slayed her poses like a queen.
So I really quite don’t
get the sudden apologies and its attribute to ‘wardrobe malfunction’. It is obvious
this young model is succumbing to the pressure and the heat coming from some
Ghanaians who feel she was indecently dressed.
Miss Hamamat is clearly
apologizing for something she enjoyed rocking, and not because she is sorry for
wearing it. What if nobody criticized her for wearing the dress? Would she have
still apologized?
All I could deduce from
Miss Forson’s comment about the issue was that, the former should apologize
because she wants to, and not because she has to; not because somebody or some
people are pressurizing her to. And that is her sin?
Now let me drop this
issue about the yellow dress with all its side attractions and address one of
terrible importance to me.
I took the liberty of
reading a few of the comments on the post (I wish I hadn’t). It was
sickening, having to scroll down the comments section on Facebook and seeing
the bile people spat at her. That she ‘lacks common sense’. That she’s ‘an-empty-headed-idiot’
or rather ‘Madam-know-it-all-empty-headed-idiot’. And most depressing of
all, that she is arrogant and will never get married if she doesn’t change.
That she is ‘grown like this, and is still single’. That she should find a
husband because menopause will catch up with her soon. I mean, WHAT?
People why? How is this
even a marriage issue? Let’s put what Hamamat wore or did not wear aside. This
is a serious problem. What has the Ghanaian society got against unmarried women
anyway?
Why has marriage become a
yardstick to measure a woman’s femininity, wholeness, and wholesomeness? That
it has become a crime for women to be unmarried beyond a certain age? That
being unmarried makes you an object of ridicule and a target of trolls?
Can’t women have opinion without
society jumping at them saying ‘go and sit your ass somewhere. You’re not even
married’. So that young men and women who have had an education can insult
women because they are not married. What kind of shamefully delinquent society
is this?
Without doubt what our
society hates is women, who are not married, and have a voice. Women who have
broken the traditional fences of a womanhood being only good enough for the
kitchen. Women who are non-conformists, speak up and get involved in the
decision making process be it in family, career or national issues. What this
society hates is unmarried women having an opinion.
It has been a similar
problem for Leila Djansi; same line of comments (although about different
issues) that demand her to shut up because she is unmarried.
It is unbelievable that
such rearward thinking exists in an era of rigorous education. You’d think
people would at least try to let go of certain inane beliefs.
But well, can they be
blamed when all the older generation has done is to raise women with the belief
that marriage validates their existence. That a woman is never complete without
a man by her side.
As for Miss Montia being
body-shamed, and described as a ‘bad mother’ because of the dress, I will leave
that for another day when I have enough strength left in me to write a crisp
rant!
About the Author:
V Naa Takia writes poetry, reads books and things and totally loves it! Visit her blog or tweet to her @naatakia
The Ghanaian Society generale has a problem with unmarried people but it's harder for ladies because we live in a patriarchal society.
ReplyDeleteGiven how much emphasis is placed on the family people feel that young people are letting society down by not contributing to expanding the family.
I also think society has a fear of independent women and most people believe marriage and child birth might clip their wings
The Emphasis Dela, too much emphasis. Like marriage is life itself. Like there's no life outside marriage.
DeleteI believe our African society is to blame for making ``we'' women feel without being married by a certain age ,we are less of women. Its not even about menopause, its simply about tradition. #beautiful post
ReplyDeleteNo, menopause is not even a factor these days. The pressure is high somewhere around 25. No wonder some of these women just settle for the first man that comes along without giving it much thought.
DeleteIn all this, what is frightening is that, the men who attack these 'single women' are young and educated people who should know better. It's going to a hella fight to change minds.
ReplyDeleteExactly!! They ought to know better. One hell of a fight this would be *sigh*
DeleteGreat write-up. I understood Lydia's post to a certain extent after I read your post. How is that? How am I understanding the points she raised by reading the interpretation you gave it? I find all those insulting comments from the social media trolls very disgusting. I don't support it at all. One thing I equally hate is Lydia Forson's tone and choice of words. Last year she insulted the Archbishop because he allegedly made a sexist comment. She made nasty sexual jokes about an elderly man. Something about his manhood and how he should use Viagra. Very distasteful. A few days ago, Manasseh made a comment about her views. 'Madness' was the word he used. Here she is fuming and writing an article as a rebuttal. Isn't this bad? You insult people but nobody has the right to do same to you? That is what I don't like. You can be as vocal as you want. 2 to 3 articles a week on gender issues if you like. But to get to the point where everybody who doesn't agree with you is dissed dierrrr... That is why people have such a nasty perception about feminism.Which shouldnt be. hhmm
ReplyDeleteI too understand where you are coming from Eli. Sometimes her choice of words is a bit to strong and thus causes public outrage. This is the first time I'm hearing the Archbishop Viagra case though. It's rather unfortunate, but then again my main focus is why (these) women are constantly hit with the marriage thing. I think the pulling out of the marriage card just to shame women needs to stop. Marriage is a choice, not an obligation.
Delete