Today’s post is more of a discussion. We want you to share
your thoughts on this one—especially the men.
I was with a guy I had developed strong feelings for. The ‘relationship’
was young, and we were that crazy about each other. I was pretty sure we were
in deep, but being the listener that I was, a couple of his passing comments
would strike me deep. He never failed to let me know he was in for the ride,
without commitments, whatsoever.
I thought perhaps I wasn’t showing him enough love. So I
multiplied the attention I gave him, showered him twice as much love, all in
hope that he would see me as part of his future.
A couple of men speak about how they are with women they do
not like simply because they are an easy catch, or are always there when they
need to satisfy sexual urges.
Some of them have even gone to the extent of announcing their
intention to these women; that they will never marry them, and it doesn’t go
beyond the sex.
So what exactly keeps these women from moving on?
What makes them stand the humiliation and accept being ‘toyed’
with?
Could it be that they are really no greener pastures elsewhere?
Is a woman’s love ever going to be big enough to win over a
man who has had his mind made up from the onset, or she just running after the
wind?
'Toyed' is a very strong word. I believe that a woman who is sound in both mind and body has weighed the pros and cons of such an arrangement. Sex is consensual and enjoyed by two or more people, so who toys with who?
ReplyDeleteSuch arrangement? An arrangement of being with someone who quite doesn't feel the same? The arrangement of not being loved back? Is that even an arrangement in the first place?
DeleteActually, "toyed" has been perfectly used. If you know you will never love her and you keep her for selfish reasons notably gratifying ones then you are treating her like a toy. I think I need to inject myself with ample shots of estrogen and oxytocin to understand why most ladies just refuse to let go of such guys :)
DeletePerfectly said Stephen.
DeleteYour "why" would be answered someday.
A girl can beat this State of mind. But it's reaaaaaally hard xD
ReplyDeleteSate of mind? Interesting. So you're saying the inability to let go has a lot to do with her mentality/thoughts. Well, to some extent. But like you said, it's really hard to let go of something that is dear to you even if it brings you pain.
DeleteI would attribute women remaining in such relationships to low self esteem, "a bird in hand is better than two in the bushes"mentality and the very popular one "I can Change him".
ReplyDeleteI mean, there could be more reasons but it's my belief that a woman who knows her worth would not stay a second more with someone who has made it clear that he's with you for your body.
Yes, you're certainly right on that. Perhaps it's about time women look past the 'I can change him' mentality....
DeleteOne of the hardest things in life is letting go of a man you love who does not love you. I know it may sound weak but that is how it is. It will take Herculean strength to say "hey you! I deserve better so go your way and I go my way."
ReplyDeleteA woman's emotions when it comes to matters of the heart is usually clouded and very hopeful so instead of letting him go, she will rather convince herself that she is at fault. Maybe she is just not good enough, maybe she just doesn’t love him enough, and maybe she should give up more of herself. Maybe this, maybe that. So she will end up showering him with more affection, more sex, more sacrifices hoping he will change his mind and love her but sista, this change will never come.
A man who does not love you and has told you will never love you. It hurts, it is painful but it is the hard truth. And if you should stick around and get pregnant, he will ask you to get rid of the child and if you refuse, you will end up raising the child all by yourself because he does not want you and will never want the child.