Desperate Times

I feel very ashamed to share my story, but I want to use this opportunity to encourage women to stand their grounds at all times; hold on to their principles, and not waver because of money.

About 2 or 3 years ago, I was done with my university education and national service, and was desperately searching for a job. I came by a couple of men who offered to help me, but under the condition of sex. I refused them all. I had a standing principle which did not include sleeping my way into a job.

Some friends tried to convince me to accept the ‘offer’, but I wanted a job genuinely, and not because I was the boss’s lady. Without any more alternatives, I took to little ushering jobs which still did not come easy.

It was on one of my ushering nights I made quite a terrible mistake by asking for money from this guy called PK. I had met him through a mutual friend and we’d only started chatting up. I was in desperate need of cash, and he seemed to do well financially so I thought, why not ask him? When he offered to give me the money I wanted, I got super excited.

I asked him to bring the money over to my place as I was not comfortable going over to a guy’s house. He told me he was busy, and that I should just pass by and pick up the cash. As desperate as I was, I bought into the idea and used GHC 3 out of my last GHC 5 as transportation to his place.

Upon reaching his house, I sat with him for a couple of minutes. He was in his boxers, and I was very uncomfortable. He told me to relax and spend a little time with him. I feigned a smile. Then he asked me to kiss him. Initially I said no, but he kept insisting. I figured he might not give me the money if I kept refusing so I allowed him to kiss me. I could feel my stomach turn. 

I then told him I had to go. He agreed, and dipped his hand into his pocket and to my shock, pulled out GHC 4 saying it was all he had on him.

I sat there humiliated and regretful. With so much pain and sadness, I refused the money and walked out of the house. He caught up with me by the roadside, and told me he was expecting some money from a friend, who was yet to arrive. I ignored him and kept walking.

Nothing could match up to the shame I felt. I blamed myself, and called myself all sorts of names; a gold-digger, a whore, and that I never knew I could stoop so low just for money. I used the last GHC 2 on me to haul my sullen self back home.

Martha, Accra