In my early 20’s, a friend shared a story with me about this old Lebanese man who gave her a lift on the Accra-Tema motorway roundabout on a rainy day. She was working in Accra and needed the lift to make it on time so she accepted.
“When we got to Trasacco junction, he started
running his fingers on my thigh. I pushed his hand away, but he just laughed
and said, you see the rain? He took my
hand again and put it on his thigh, just about an inch from his crotch. I tried
pulling my hand away, but he said again, you see this rain? Then he said if I didn’t
keep my hand there, he would drop me in the rain” She narrated.
So she
kept her hand on his crotch, rubbing it till she got to the end of the motorway
where a car from her office was waiting to pick her up.
About 2
weeks after she shared her nasty experience with me, I was also on my way home from the café
at around 10:00pm when a man offered me a lift. He obviously wasn’t Ghanaian,
from his appearance, and looking at the dark road ahead of me and then back at the
kind-looking man in the car, I accepted.
Before
long we were engaged in a chat about Ghana and everything concerning the
country. I notified him as we got closer to my stop, but this man drove on
without stopping.
“Let’s go
for a ride” he said. I told him I didn’t want to. He took my hand and put it on
his crotch. It was then I realized this was probably the same Lebanese man my friend
had told me about except in my case, I was in luck. It wasn’t raining so I threatened
him, “Stop the car or I would jump”.
The car
came to a screeching halt, and I hurriedly got down to begin a full journey back home.My friend's ordeal began to play back in my head. I remember laughing at her when she told me about the Lebanese man, but it wasn't funny anymore now that I experienced it!
Alice, Ghana
Oh these things even happen in public buses! On more than two occasions I have sat in a trotro and have had some random guy run his hands up my thigh while pretending to be dozing. One instance I asked really loudly what he thought he was doing and the other occasions, I nudged them so violently whatever sleep was on their eyes vanished. They stayed wider awake!
ReplyDeleteI like that Alice was honest in saying she had laughed at her friend and thought it funny till it happened to her. It is actually quite normal. I am one who would not hitch a ride with a stranger. Let it rain fattened elephants, I will not. I will urge us all to always weigh our options, although sometimes fear grips us hard and so we are unable to think straight. But please, let him drop you in the rain, get drenched to your bone, you aren't rubbing no filthy stranger's man parts for nothing! Trust me, a cold will feel much better than how such an ordeal will leave you feeling.
If you were unable to think straight, girl, don't blame yourself, don't be too hard on yourself. Talk about it, vent, and then move on equipped with this experience as a teacher.
Much love to you, Alice...and to your friend too. :-)
Right on that Amma. It's almost unbelievable that these things also happen in public transport. There's everything wrong with it.
DeleteWhat exactly would make someone want to rub the thighs of another, without her consent, and in a public place. If there's no respect, and certainly no shame whatsoever, how about fear? Didn't he at least feel afraid of your possible reaction?
Some of these men are bold; too bold maybe. And it's about time we made bold decisions too...like Alice did. A walk in the rain would have been so much better. But then again, sometimes fear cripples us, and we are unable to think things through, otherwise Alice's friend would have taken the rains gleefully.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Regards,
Sista
Apalled. Outraged. But Mostly Sad.
ReplyDeleteThe effect these occurences can plant such insecurities, fears and walls that you don't even realize.
So true Sinawo, there are walls built around us due to painful experiences and we never escape from them because we do not even know. It is very sad how a silly man's behaviour can ruin a woman for the rest of her life.
DeleteRegards,
Sista
That is why all ladies should take s knife along :) stab the perv in his groin. Here is one little addition; make sure you take the "plate number" he doesn't need to know you are doing it. Indulge him in a conversation, get his name and address and let the cops be aware. Trust me, one of them will take it up
ReplyDeleteHmm, quite a good idea with the number plate. Hopefully women will remember this. Thank you Stephen.
DeleteWhile you've made a good point, Stephen I don't think it's best to carry sharp objects like knives along. It might end up being used on you by these silly men who might be stronger than you. Best way is to move away from them, not encourage conversations and as you said find things you can identify them with, including their car number plates so you can report to appropriate authorities. Cheers!
Delete3y3 as3m oo.....
ReplyDelete3y3 as3m paa Budu...But we have the power to end this! We must continue to speak against this, and encourage more women to speak up! Thanks for passing by
ReplyDeleteRegards,
Sista
luckily I am doing that at the moment. I work with an international NGO which focuses on children but primarily the girl child in rural communities. We have so many interventions but it seems there is still a lot to do. Hopefully we are able to influence people especially stakeholders to take action while we continuously empower and encourage the girl. Cheers!
ReplyDeleteAnsah, bit by bit, we will get here. You are on the right path though. Keep it up.
DeleteRegards,
Sista