Skip to main content

Hey dirty ol' man, I'm not your sex toy!



Reading Alice’s story last Friday reminded me of mine. For some reason I had shoved this story somewhere deep into my subconscious.

About a year ago, I was to spend the weekend at my best friend’s place at Lashibi so I stood at a particular spot while waiting for her to pick me up. A man in a Toyota pick-up stopped right in front of me and beckoned me closer. It was around 7pm.

We both exchanged pleasantries and he offered to give me a ride, but I declined and thanked him. He then asked for my number which I refused to give, but he was adamant. 

He went on to tell me how beautiful my shape was and how smooth my dark skin was and that he would wanted to take me somewhere and “play romance” with me or possibly have phone sex with me if I wouldn’t go with him. 

All that while, he had this stupid grin on his face that probably to him, was charming. Boy was I mad! If I had had my dinner then, I probably would have heaved it on him. 

I still don’t know why I stood to listen to this crap, but I remember walking off in a fit of rage, ranting like a mad woman. 

How could some men be so uncouth? So you see a young woman by the roadside and you just want to believe I am in that mood for a good time with an apparent dirty old man.

My skin still crawls at the memory of it. Oh shucks!

Nana Esi, Accra

Comments

  1. Sorry for the experience, A few days ago, a friend offered me sex in my FB inbox, I couldn't believe it. I sent my friends a screenshot of the conversation horrified hoping I was overreacting and reading too much into what he was implying. It was like through the inbox this man, this new friend had reached and touched me with dirty hands, I felt defiled and hurt. I still can't get over how and when this became acceptable. When we became sex toys for me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This facebook thing has been happening for a while now. You were certainly not overreacting.
      Sex has become so easy, most men act as if every woman they meet want same.
      This is not right and we should not keep quiet about it.
      Thanks for reading and we hope to see you here always.

      Regards,
      Sista

      Delete

Post a Comment

Say something about this post

Popular posts from this blog

Female Sexual Coercion: How Women really feel

I am 40 years old, I promise you! Well yes I have only literally lived for a quarter of a century but I swear, I am 40. Or more. I say this because some of the time, or a lot of the time I feel like I have seen too much for my age. More recently I have learned that our experiences lead us somewhere good when we let them. I have seen mine do just that and it makes me thankful, not to say to have experienced them was a good thing, but that it turned out alright after all. I wouldn’t wish that any woman goes through even a hair’s breadth of it. I seem not be clear about exactly what this is about right? I know, I actually have so much in my head right now I probably have to slow down and take them one after the other, and so I’d do just that. This is only part one.    I am writing this about women, but I’d wish for everyone, irrespective of gender, to read because it is so important, I believe. It is the matter of coercion. From what it entails (its definition) to how ...

Women, Marriage, Child Birth and The Blackmailing Older Generation in Ghana

S ome years back, in my late teens, I always told myself I’d get married before I was 23. The thought of being able to enjoy life with my companion in holy matrimony without being pressed (physically, psychologically, or biologically) for children was ideal. I wanted to travel the world. Know people. See places. For my partner and I to get our act together before creating and bringing life into this world.   Maybe the motivation came from knowing my parents discovered each other and started life together quite early. My mother had me when she was barely 21. Three kids down the line, my dad is now in his late 40s, with my mom, a little behind. Definitely, the ‘young old couple’ thingy is attractive. But. I’m currently in my mid-20s. And unmarried. So many things replaced the desire for me to tie the knot before 23. I realized, somehow, that there was no rush. My priorities had shifted. There was education, a lot of growing up to do, and basically life! And there was also ...

Rape Is Not Just Sex. It Is a Crime of Power and You Don’t Tell Victims To ‘Just Get Over It.’

Photo Credit: Vox.com What most people do not understand is that rape is not something you just ‘get over’. No, it does not work that way. When the choice of consent is snatched from beneath you, it is a violation of not just your body but your mind too. Rape, is like a robbery in which something is taken forcefully from you with every unconsented thrust. Yet unlike robbery where items taken can be replaced, rape takes away parts of you that can never be replaced, only learned to live with. When a person is raped, it isn’t just the body that has been invaded but also the mind. And this unwarranted invasion can lead to a thrashing of a person’s mental health. Walls get broken and victims without the right help and counselling may never get around to becoming who they used to be. Their present comes to a standstill and the future turns to gloom. Some dire psychological effects of this violation may even be that victims may be broken to such abysmal levels that they acce...