This Is The Realest Letter Ever Written To Older Sisters

Dear Older Sisters and Friends with children,

Don't get offended when we refuse to babysit your kids because truth be told, we are not obliged to. It is neither our duty nor responsibility. Matter of fact, it is a favour we do you. We want to believe you had this whole parenting thing figured out before you dug into it so it’s quite unfair that you drag us along and expect us to just go with the flow.

We love you, honestly, but we have got our own lives to live—many impromptu dates to go on, a lot of sleeping to do, and basically a lot of yes-I’m-busy-doing-nothing-whatchu-gonna-do-about-that phases to go through, and to think that we ought to put all these very important twenty-something-year time of life on hold just to listen to incessant wailing and play houses? No. We’re sorry, it’s just not how we imagined our future to shape out.

And don’t even get us started on the you’re-also-gonna-have-kids-someday-and-imma-be-there-for-you shid. Hell you might not even be here when it’s our turn and let’s face it, nanny express’ got us. So can you just cut us some slack and not get angry or give us the silent treatment when we put ourselves above your short notice need?

Some of us are not making babies now because we want to figure out this adulthood thingy, build a career, travel the world, make Friday night and weekend arrangements, be out partying all night, and basically get ourselves all ironed out before we drop them babies and accept the new life of sleeplessness, mumbo jumbo language, and making faces. We really don’t have to deal with this right now, but we may, for you, only don’t put it to us that we have to, new mommy because we don’t!

If we are to babysit your little devils we will do so on our own terms, alright? Thank you, you are all so understanding.

With so much love it’s bursting out of our stomachs,

Younger sisters and friends without young’uns.

Comments

Women, Marriage, Child Birth and The Blackmailing Older Generation in Ghana

S ome years back, in my late teens, I always told myself I’d get married before I was 23. The thought of being able to enjoy life with my companion in holy matrimony without being pressed (physically, psychologically, or biologically) for children was ideal. I wanted to travel the world. Know people. See places. For my partner and I to get our act together before creating and bringing life into this world. Maybe the motivation came from knowing my parents discovered each other and started life together quite early. My mother had me when she was barely 21. Three kids down the line, my dad is now in his late 40s, with my mom, a little behind. Definitely, the ‘young old couple’ thingy is attractive. But. I’m currently in my mid-20s. And unmarried. So many things replaced the desire for me to tie the knot before 23. I realized, somehow, that there was no rush. My priorities had shifted. There was education, a lot of growing up to do, and basically life! And there was also ...

Rape Is Not Just Sex. It Is a Crime of Power and You Don’t Tell Victims To ‘Just Get Over It.’

Photo Credit: Vox.com What most people do not understand is that rape is not something you just ‘get over’. No, it does not work that way. When the choice of consent is snatched from beneath you, it is a violation of not just your body but your mind too. Rape, is like a robbery in which something is taken forcefully from you with every unconsented thrust. Yet unlike robbery where items taken can be replaced, rape takes away parts of you that can never be replaced, only learned to live with. When a person is raped, it isn’t just the body that has been invaded but also the mind. And this unwarranted invasion can lead to a thrashing of a person’s mental health. Walls get broken and victims without the right help and counselling may never get around to becoming who they used to be. Their present comes to a standstill and the future turns to gloom. Some dire psychological effects of this violation may even be that victims may be broken to such abysmal levels that they acce...

Why are we raising women with the ultimate goal of being wifed?

I chanced on a WhatsApp status where a young woman was giving herself accolades and it somehow ended in her expressing joy and pride at being ‘someone’s future wife’. I use ‘joy’ here, for lack of a better word. However, it was more along the lines of her seeing being a wife as the ultimate prize for her womanhood. Now, this is not an isolated case; it would be much easier if it were. Then it could be related to personal aspirations and goals. Of course, each one of us is different and we have different hopes and wants and desires. However, this happens way too many times to be attributed to personal wishes alone. I have seen a lot of women express this need to achieve the ultimate; to get to the climax of womanhood. Unfortunately, this climax of womanhood, to many, is being a wife. It is never anything else. This begs the question; why? Of all the things a woman can aspire to be, why is it always ‘a wife’? Again, to be clear, it is not wrong for one to as...

Sista Clinik

Search This Blog