For all those relationships that are going nowhere: If he wants you, he’ll put some grind in it

Photo: Sofeminine.co.uk

You have liked, loved, and had an ocean of patience to make things work. You have found yourself frequently questioning if the feeling is mutual because you seem to be the only one doing all the work. It’s as if you are the only one who wants it, and that bad. 
 

Many times you have fought the urge to drop the bomb question “So what’s happening? Where are we headed, you and I?” but let it go because you do not want to sound desperate, even in your own ears. And when you finally get the courage to ask some warranted questions, you are met with tense, on edge behavior that makes you feel like you’re the one clingy of all sorts.

Finding yourself in a relationship that is going nowhere is like a dog trying to catch his own tail. You keep running around in circles of your own until you are dog-tired; spent from all that convoluted chase.

But are you blind to the reality that’s hitting you? No. A lot of women know when their love is unrequited because naturally, women are more emotional than men. But let’s not forget that in spite of the emotional imbalances certain traits are common for both men and women who have got something ‘real’ going on. 

For example, while a man may not text or check in on his woman over 10 times a day as some women would, there will definitely be some form of contact within the day for a man who claims to care an awful lot for his woman.

If you’re with a man, who goes days without any form of contact to you, and then springs up oneday as if nothing ever happened and picks up from where you two left off, then it’s about time you ask some serious questions. 

Most likely, such men will use the excuse of being too busy or will turn the table around and make it seem like you are super clingy. Should you really be sorry for wanting to hear from a loved one within a day or two days? Certainly, not!

Don’t be deceived when they tell you it is a ‘man thing’. It is not a man thing. Men who truly care for their women make time for them and don’t sit on the bench watching their women chase them around like shiny gold trophies. If they want you, they’ll put some major grind in it. They’ll work through their everyday hustle and still find time within 24hours to poke into your text box even if it is just to send a quick smiley. 

Do not let any man make you feel like you’re asking too much of his time. You are not asking too much, because time, is one of the very valuable things you give when you care about someone. 

If a man you have something going with can go a week without talking, texting or seeing you, then he can as well do a lifetime without you. It is time you put yourself first. It is time you stop making excuses for him. It is time you stop accepting the thin excuses he gives for skipping town. It is time to let that man know what exactly it is you want. 

No man is worth walking all over yourself for. If he is right for you, he wouldn’t even make you walk all over yourself for him. If he is right for you, he wouldn’t bolt and reappear 7 days after and expect you to be damn cool about it. If he is legit for you, your memories of him will be more than just the sex you had which never even merited a morning-after text.

Snap out of it and lay all your cards on the table. Refuse to answer distress calls for sex disguised as “I miss you”, and “I want you” every other week or two. Accept that the relationship is going nowhere, and the only thing going down is your pant.

If your man is not willing to take your love to the next level, move on. Put some respect on yourself, and stop begging for his love when you have clearly given him everything you have. 

If you’ve got any more strength in you, save it for the walkaway. You deserve so much more. It’s time you give to yourself some of this love you give to others.