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Years of living with depression, inferiority complex and finding strength



My Thoughts on Depression

There are various reasons why it happens and the intensities also vary quite a lot. As a matter of course, it happens, usually, slightly different from one person to another and so it's not easy to be around a person if you are not the victim; the victim is almost always with it.

It can be very burdensome to hear one go on and on about one's depressive state. And while some are so deep into it, and have gravely been affected by it and may be so comfortable in such a state, others have found strength in several ways of managing or dealing with it.

Depression is a place - a mental space - you sometimes suddenly find yourself there and aren't able to do anything about it. Until that place dissolves or you aren't in it anymore somehow.


2. My Experience with Depression

I've been depressed for quite a long time now, since 2004. And for several years I had no idea what was wrong with me. It was about 7 years later that I knew what it was. It was quite a relief but that didn't make it go away.

To me depression has been that one thought about how one negatively feels about something; when it takes over one's concentration and sets it into a seemingly unbreakable loop. 

My experience with depression has mainly been about how badly I've felt about my self - my sense of worth. As a matter of fact, the schooling system did play a major role, among other things, in creating and worsening the depression; my sense of self-worth being greatly based on the grading system, and how my weaknesses in some subjects (Mathematics especially!) were magnified in spite of how good I was at other subjects.

It usually affected my behavior and attitude towards various aspects of life. It has interfered with the progress of my life greatly. Even with serious things like completing an undergraduate certificate program or just not being in the mood to finish an important piece of work.

3. My Thoughts on the Solution for Depression.

While it is true that depression is so hard to deal with I don't think it is impossible to overcome it. I've learnt to empathize with quite a number of people who I know were suffering with depression. Because the depressive state is not a nice place to be with time I began to think of solutions to the constant state helplessness.

There are several solutions; I haven't taken medications for it or visited any mental health professional yet. I believe that apart from the chemical imbalances in one's body which can be corrected with medication there are alternative solutions to depression.

They include identifying external triggers to depression. Nurturing people to really value who they are and to recognize their abilities and appreciate those abilities is one way to go. You'd be surprised at how effective it works if genuine concern is shown.  

For me I've learnt to deal with depression by not thinking about a lot of things. I have consonantly observed the pattern of thoughts that lead to depression and triumphed over it before takes me hostage. This is a constant battle I aim to win each time.

-O'Zionn.

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